Just Water
by YaoiLosersOnTheLoose
Summary: How do you give into an urge you fear for someone who can't understand? Marluxia has no idea. No clue how much his false claims of love pain him every day. MarVex, 411, dark, angsty. Based on a true story.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, it's Cam! I'm copying this from my DA account and posting it here for you xD**

**The title of this story - "Just Water" - will be explained in later chapters, but for now:_ "Melted ice is just water."_ **

**Anyway. This is a MarVex fic, and it is very dark, and their are many branch pairings. Including MarlyXPretty much everyone. It is based on things I've done, said, or gone through, and I'll let you know if I'm writing something that never actually happened or leaving something out. Vexen's POV, as he is representing me :D **

**I own nothing. **

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><p>Vexen Caulfield hummed boredly as he stared at his laptop screen, watching some AMV on a fandom with a name he couldn't pronounce and effects that bored him after about ten seconds. He drummed his fingers idly on the area next to his laptop's mouse pad, enjoying the slight <em>click<em> sound his short fingernails made on contact. School started up tomorrow.

_Ugh._ he thought to himself. _Why_ _tomorrow? __I __love __school, __sure, __but__…__._ the image of hallways, filled with people, pushing past one another to get to class, flashed through his mind. _Stupid __people.__Why __does __every __school __have __hundreds __of __stupid __people?__It__'__s __completely __asinine!_

Try as he might, Vexen couldn't bring himself to be interested in the AMV, so he changed sites. A picture site called DA opened up in a welcoming green, replacing the reds and white of the previous one. He 'hm'd quietly in contemplation before typing a random anime title in the bar for fan art. He got, as he expected with this site, about three normal pictures and a smorgasbord of yaoi. He grinned to himself. _Ah, __guilty __pleasures._ His internal yaoi fanboy sighed.

After a few hours of aimless touring, he grabbed some paper in a burst of inspiration and began to draw. He was pretty decent, able to make shapes vaguely resembling humans (or whatever he happened to be drawing) and he was steadily getting better. He dreamed of one day being able to produce perfect replicas of the people he'd met. Right now, he swore never to draw anyone unless he really cared about them. It felt somehow…_personal_ to him. Like it was a connection no one quite understood.

He grinned at the finished product. It was quite nice, really. A beautiful drawing. It was one of a person he'd never met, as he often drew. He often pictured a person and doodled their face, and felt one day he'd meet his subject, and they would be important to him. The person had long hair, light, like a light brown or dark blonde, a face that seemed feminine and masculine at the same time, and eyes that made it instantly Vexen's favorite drawing he'd ever done. The drawing looked okay, nowhere near art hall worthy, but good enough for Vexen to put it in his desk, rather than his folder. He always saved his pictures, no matter how awful, and learned from them, but only the best stayed in his drawers, so he could view them without digging through shelves of folders and files.

He sighed, taking notice of the late hour, and shut down his laptop. He had school tomorrow; he needed to sleep…for once.

Vexen had terrible insomnia, and rarely slept for over an hour, tops. When he did sleep, it was fitful and he could feel every second of it, as though he simply had his eyes closed, rather than it being actual sleep. He rarely dreamed. When he did dream, he wished he hadn't, as they were usually awful dreams that made him question his sanity, as if he didn't do that enough already. He wouldn't call them nightmares, as they never scared him. They were things that would scare most people, such as ghost and darkness and being lost without a way out and blood, but he always woke up simply confused. He even went as far as to buy a dream journal and a "Hidden Meaning of Dreams" book. Though, to be honest, he probably would have done that anyway, because he was just into things like that.

He set his dream journal on his nightstand so he could access it immediately if he dreamed, clicked off the light, and closed his eyes as the stories began. Vexen always did this. He thought of little scenarios to help him find a sense of peace to sleep: about himself, about characters from shows, mangas, or animes, about people he knew, about people he didn't know, etc.

As he settled into an interesting plot of his possible first day at school, Vexen felt reality bur and fade, new images taking over, until he could see, feel, hear, smell, even taste, everything he thought. He was in a new world, his own world, his own safe haven no one could take from him.

He was untouchable.


	2. Chapter 2

Vexen stared idly at the black MP3 player dock on his dresser, and the green numbers displayed there.

4:00 a.m.

He rolled over, switching his blank stare on the ceiling. His fan whipped around in small circles, and after getting steadily dizzier, he returned his gaze to the clock.

4:01 a.m.

He swore in his mind. He reached over, clicking on his radio and zoned out to the music.

After suffering for an hour and a half, he decided it was a little less insane to get up at 5:30 than 4 and dragged himself from the tangle of dark blankets.

He dropped his baggy clothes from the day before, as he had seen no point in changing the previous night, and grabbed a navy polo shirt and khaki pants and slipped down the hall in his boxers, knowing his dad had already left and his mother and (stupid) older brother were still asleep. After taking a shower that had began with water so hot it burned and had quickly been changed to one so cold he nearly turned to ice, he got dressed and found himself in the kitchen making ramen for breakfast (a guilty pleasure of his) just as his mother began to shout at his brother Sephiroth to wake the hell up because it was the first day of school and she'd apparently already told him to get up ten minutes ago, though Vexen hadn't noticed. He heard her throw his door open and begin yelling, only to pause in confusion when he wasn't there.

"Vexen?" She called.

Vexen 'hm'd loudly in answer.

She came around the corner, instantly looking to the pot in distaste. "That's not healthy."

"Sure it is," He retorted. "It has protein, and it doesn't have ten billion grams of sugar and fat like Sephiroth's breakfast 'foods.'"

She rolled her eyes and turned back down the hall to get ready for work herself. He smirked to himself. _Another battle won. Just a small step for the war._

If it wasn't obvious, Vexen wasn't too fond of his family. At all. In fact, he often longed for the day that they would all be caught in a tragic car accident.

"Hey there, sis." Vexen internally cringed at the voice of his stupid elder sibling, choosing to ignore his gender comment. "What the hell are you making? Noodles? Why the f-" He cut off as a sound down the hall reminded him their mother was still in earshot. Instead of continuing the taunting, he brought his knee up, slamming in Vexen's ass, knocking him forward, almost into the pot, sending boiling water sloshing about ominously. Luckily, Vexen was used to this, and instantly grabbed the counter for stability and the handle of the pot to hold it still. The water calmed with only a few lost drops, and he let out a relieved breath as his brother laughed at the "genius" he seemed to think he possessed. Vexen clicked off the stove eye, pulling the pot up to rest it on the potholder he'd set out, only to pause as he realized Sephiroth had set his book down directly on top of the potholder, leaving Vexen no place to rest the pot that was starting to seem very heavy, and he had apparently been burned without noticing, as his hand was screaming in pain.

He frowned. "You know, I thought potholders are supposed to be for, I don't know…._pots?" _

Sephiroth turned, looking down to Vexen (He was taller, only by a little, but enough to be extremely annoying) with a sneer. "And I thought teenage boys were supposed to have, I don't know…" he mocked Vexen's voice, _"lives?"_

Vexen sat the pot back onto the stove, moved Sephiroth's book (ignoring his brother's protests), and moved the pot to the potholder. He stirred in the flavoring, poured the ramen in a bowl, and set it down to wait for him to put burn cream on his hand.

_Just another day._

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><p>Vexen climbed out of a van so bright a blue it should be outlawed and walked up to an area where only about 3 others were, seeing as school didn't start for another hour. He didn't wave or speak, but chose to settle on the short red fence and wait for a familiar face.<p>

About a half an hour later, he saw the first of his friends, Sora. Sora was a little….awkward. He tended to babble on about pointless, random things, and he often told the same joke more than once until you either laughed or acknowledged you understood it, and then explained it anyway. Regardless, he was funny at times and clumsy and endearing, and you couldn't help but adore him.

Vexen had befriended him through the mutual acquaintance of Riku, who met him through Kairi, and the three became close friends. Vexen tended to be a side branch, and the strongest memory Vexen had of him was making himself look like an idiot as he 'defended' Sora from a few jerks. He didn't regret it, per say, but it did look pretty stupid.

Sora waved as he got off the bus, and then began to gesture wildly in his typical fashion, mouthing something that didn't make any sense, as he was _terrible_ at mouthing. Eventually, Vexen pieced together that he was asking him to come to the bus area. He began to gesture back (in a slightly more subdued manner) that he would not be moving anytime soon, as there were large groups of people he didn't know blocking his path. Sora didn't seem to get the message, however, and continued his gestures and calls and attempts at mouthing until Kairi got off of her bus and he ran to hug her.

Vexen rolled his eyes, and wished he had brought a book. He made a mental note to bring one the next day, and sat down on the fence, finally giving up on watching the cars. To kill time, he took to cleaning his glasses, trying to ignore the sparkles on the side. It had been a practical joke played by his family (mainly his brother) that they gave him blue glasses (his favorite colour) and have him try them on. As they were the first glasses that didn't look completely ridiculous, he got them, only to find out they had pretty, sparkly snowflakes all over the sides. He'd had them for two years now, and he was used to it, but he still wanted new ones.

"Yo."

Vexen looked up, locking eyes with Riku, standing there with his usual mocking smirk. (1)

"Your hair's longer." He observed.

"I never really felt like cutting it." Vexen shrugged.

Riku nodded, as though this answered some unasked question. "What'd you do this summer?"

"Nothing much."

"Cool."

There was a long, awkward silence. Thankfully, it was only a few minutes before the bell rang. Vexen stood, pulling the schedule from his pocket and double checking it. "I have Science first. What about you?"

He shrugged. "Mine's in my locker." He said, indicating the schedule in my hand.

"HEY! HEY GUYS! WAIT UP! GUYS? GUYS!" Both boys turned to see Sora dragging a reluctant Kairi behind him, only slowing from his run when he had caught up to the others. The foursome walked through the doors together as Sora began bombarding them with questions. "Where's your locker? Who's your homeroom? You have Science, right, Vex? Who's your teacher?" Vexen handed him his schedule. "Ah, you're on the other team. We have completely different classes. I guess I'll see you at lunch then."

Vexen waved goodbye as he escaped down the hall, heading for his locker, ignoring the feeling in the pit of his stomach that something was going to go terribly wrong before the day ended.

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><p><strong>(1) – Riku is taking the place of Shea, who is the complete opposite of Riku, as she is sweet and never breaks a rule and freaks out about things a lot. Also, when she saw me, she commented on my hair being <strong>_**shorter,**_** not longer.**

**And that was chapter 2! A little longer than I usually do (my chapters are normally very short xD)**

**Character - Real Person I Know**

**Vexen - Me**

**Sora - Cori**

**Riku - Shea [see (1)]**

**Kairi - Heather**

**Sephiroth - my sister DX (Yes, she actually does shit like that.)**


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